The paradox arises mostly because - seen through the lens of Brain Awareness - by our approach to intentional change, we set ourselves up to fail. We force ourselves to do something big that we think we should, or we've been told to do, even though we don't really want to. Surprise surprise, a few months later, nothing has actually changed. We need to borrow from the world of SPORT.  

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S = Small steps: The first step is the most important one. Eg: Just getting off the couch to walk! 

P = Positive feelings: You have to feel positive about making the change. That doesn't just mean making the end goal attractive (though that is an important 'framing'). It means you have to feel good about each small step. Negative feelings ALWAYS disable our capacity for intentional change.  

O = Other people: Use other people to motivate you and provide support - keeping you positive. 

R = Review & reflection: Set up a weekly review and self-reflection time. It doesn't need long - just a few minutes to consider: (a) successes this week (b) lapses this week (c) opportunities next week. 

T = Time Outs: These allow you to pause and reset when you notice yourself following your old patterns in a situation when your intention was to do something different. Of course, to be able to be mindful in the moment, and hence able to pause and reset, you will probably need to have built your mindfulness muscle by starting a regular (daily) practice. Perhaps your first intentional change.