It helps to extend your toolkit beyond just listening and asking questions. Try using 'right brain' methods, and other 'left brain' tools. Because 'left brain' thinking tends to dismiss 'right brain' thinking, it is often better to lead with the right brain (the title of a great book by Yda Bouvier). 

​

Right brain methods work directly with your 'stories', eg: 
Work with pictures or imagery or metaphor or visualisation or storytelling 
Map out complex systems ​with post-it notes or objects or simple drawings 

Sit in the other's chair or other exercises involving physical enactment of a new perspective  

​​

Left brain methods work mostly on your 'focus' (conscious or unconscious), eg via: 

Focus on what is happening right now (eg in the interaction between you and them) 
Frame with new models which help provide a new focus / new awareness    
(simple 2x2 grids, NEO / MBTI / Centaur / DISC, Transactional Analysis etc) 

Re-frame to focus on the positive (maybe even using tools from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) ​

​

Ongoing mindfulness practices increase our capacity to (self) observe / (self) reflect